Coping: Guilt and Grief.

Often, I get questions pertaining to different types of spirituality. For this post, I wanted to highlight something asked on a regular basis. Many of my clients come to me for advice on dealing with the death of a loved one. This young women came to me recently after her father passed away. From my background, I have had YEARS (literally) of experience in this field. Her question is listed below this paragraph. I hope this questions helps those dealing with a similar situation. How do you feel those who have passed away around you? 

Dear Marissa,

Recently my father passed away and I have so much guilt... To the point where it overwhelms me. I feel like I have so much regret... Not enough time, not enough phone conversation, and constantly living far away. from him. I feel like a horrible daughter. Do you think my dad knows how much I care? That I wanted to be there more? Do you think he was upset that I did not live closer? There are so many things left unsaid. Like I said, the guilt is unreal.

Thank you - Jill

Hi Jill,

Naturally, it is human nature to regret some of the choices made when our loved one was living.

Take a moment and recognize you are human. We are bound to make mistakes with loving relationships. However, when those we love pass, they still have the capability of feeling our love. The death of someone also means the death of the ego. What does the death of ego mean? On the other side, Spirit only recognizes love, as love has no ego. Once someone passes, all guilt, anger and frustration is removed. The Spirit no longer holds onto negative thoughts and emotions. They actively recognize the love given to them, and that (in itself) calls for an abundance of gratitude. 

The Spirit always notices when someone they love is deeply struggling. They understand and empathize with you and your guilt. Again, they want us to know there is absolutely no reason to feel this way. Forgiveness is a large part of moving onto their next life. Find comfort in knowing that your loved one actively forgives you for your shortcomings. They are capable of hearing every thought, word and prayer directed towards them. Talk to your father, tell him everything you are feeling and find comfort in his everlasting gentleness. I can promise you he has substituted your guilt with feelings of endless love. 

Our loved ones are always around us. Through signs, prayers and moments of joy - this is their way of saying; "I am here."

-Marissa 

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